


Storm

by YellowLipstick



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rare Pairings, Secret Relationship, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21875800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowLipstick/pseuds/YellowLipstick
Summary: Sirius and Severus have been friends since meeting on the train to Hogwarts, but they are confused as their feelings deepen and change, leaving them awkward and unsure; unable to communicate their emotions effectively. So Sirius tries to tell Severus how he feels with a muggle song, "Storm" by Lifehouse.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Song: “Storm” by Lifehouse

~“If I could just see you

Everything would be all right

If I'd see you

This darkness would turn to light”

-Lifehouse, “Storm”~

***

Sirius raked his fingers through his unruly, raven locks irritably. His grey eyes sparked in frustration and the firm hand clamped on his shoulder only made the clenching in his gut much, much worse. When had everything become so complicated? When had his friend become his secret obsession? Had Azkaban really changed him all that much?

He didn’t remember when the charcoal glow in his eyes had turned dusty grey. Each day he had tried to focus on the faces of his friends to keep his sanity. As the days of Sirius’s confinement bled together the only things that remained were the knowledge of his own innocence and a hazy face; the smudged, blurry face of his dearest friend from Hogwarts.

***

_Dark, night eyes gazed at him from across the Dining Hall before faltering and looking away; the sallow youth looked upset this morning and Sirius hoped that Severus’s ‘friends’ hadn’t been forcing him to practice the Unforgivable Curses again. After the first time, Sirius had quietly held the shaking teen in the Room of Requirement while Severus sobbed brokenly at the loss of his innocence. They never did speak of that night again; they rarely spoke about their relationship at all. He would do anything for his friend though, even if it was only to hold him while he mourned for his soul._

***

When Severus and him met on the train to Hogwarts all those years ago, everything had been much simpler. They had both been outcasts amongst their families, not entirely sure where they would fit within their soon-to-be home away from home for the next seven years. While they had entirely different ideals about magic, muggles, and everything in between; they could both find a kindred spirit in the other regarding their separately awful childhoods. Neither had experienced pleasant times at the hands of their parents and while no words truly needed to be spoken on the matter, they could just feel it. They knew in the other they had found a friend.

They spent that first train ride in an empty compartment, comparing what paltry magic they could already perform eagerly, and shyly ignoring the snack cart when it rolled by-neither had any pocket change to spare due to their tempestuous familial situations. They tried to avoid obvious hot-button topics, such as anything remotely regarding muggles; and by the end of the trip they both had felt calm, settled, and assured in the other’s presence.

***

_“Sirius I-I can’t…I’m not…,” the dark-haired Slytherin whimpered against his friend’s robes, clutching the black material wildly in his tight fists._

_“Shh Severus, I’m here, I’ll always be here for you. You know I don’t believe those things they say; you’re not evil. I know you’re not,” the grey-eyed Gryffindor whispered against his distressed friend’s silky, midnight hair._

***

Sometimes it was soothing to just talk about the cloud shapes in the sky with a new person, someone who wasn’t overtly hostile or domineering. The last time Severus had tried to make a friend, with a small girl named Lily, it hadn’t ended well. She had refused to greet him on the platform and he had feared he would be arriving at Hogwarts friendless. Now though, he had Sirius. The dark-haired youth was exuberant, friendly, and chattered up a storm. Perhaps everything would be okay, this new place wouldn’t be so scary, for they had already made friends with each other on the train!

Yet, when the Sorting Hat determined they were to be in separate houses, have separate lives, their bright friendship dimmed. Sirius fell in with James Potter, a popular fellow who he could shield his true personality behind, acting as ‘side-kick’ within the fabulous ‘James and Sirius Duo’. Severus became ensconced within a dark lot, never fully adhering to their cruelties, but fitting in nowhere else.

***

_Sirius rubbed his itching eyes tiredly and desperately tried to finish his potions essay the night before it was due. He was uncharacteristically alone in the darkened library, having borrowed James’s invisibility cloak to sneak down and finish the assignment in peace. He threw his quill down and just as he was about to give up, he felt a warm hand on his shoulder._

_Severus melted out of the shadows behind his worktable, “Let me help Sirius,” he whispered softly, twitching when his brief words pulled at the split lip James had given him earlier that day._

_Sirius reached up and rubbed his thumb softly over the cut, looking at his friend with sad, sorrowful eyes before bursting into silent tears, shoulders heaving with emotion; he hated standing by while his friend was mocked and injured._

_“It’s okay Siri, I know. It’s all going to be alright,” he soothed the Gryffindor, trying to calm the distressed tremors in his bony shoulders with gentle pats._

***

Severus watched Lily from the shadows with somewhat of an adolescent crush, even if their friendship had been over before it had begun. Though he never watched anyone quite so much as his dearest friend Sirius. He had insisted they continue to be friends, going so far as to discover the room of requirement for secret meetings. He didn’t understand the odd pull he felt towards Sirius, he wasn’t sure if it was more than friendship or not.

Sirius was elated they had kept their friendship intact. Secret, but intact; meeting in the room of requirement away from prying eyes at least once a month to just-be. Only around Severus could he truly be himself, be free. There were no pretenses, no passionate subjects to harp on, no loyalties, and no preconceived notions of what their relationship was even supposed to be. They just were, and they were happy together. They talked and laughed easily, but when the time came to sneak back into their respective houses, to go back to publically humiliating each other, there was always an air of heartbreak in the gloom.

***

_Severus repeated the counter-attacks over and over to the attentive Gryffindor, seeking to teach him a defense against each spell the budding Death Eaters were practicing now in the Slytherin Common Room. He watched with satisfaction as Sirius repeated the spells silently, lips moving to practice the words, with brows furrowed in concentration. He fretted slightly when Sirius cursed lowly and started repeating the spells from the beginning, seeking to perfect his normally spotty memory where spell-work was concerned. He hoped this would be enough to keep the reckless Gryffindor safe, he hoped he could keep them both safe, always._

***

Though none of their confused feelings mattered after they graduated and Severus landed himself with Voldemort and later on with a role as double agent for the Order of the Phoenix while Sirius was framed and carted off to Azkaban. When Sirius had been released, it was all Severus could do to keep himself from trying to wrangle his fiery friend within the cloister of his sheltered haven, his own secure house. He desperately needed the reckless man to be safe. After fearing for his health and his sanity for so long, it was a breath of fresh air that Sirius was now out of Azkaban alive and miraculously sane.

Yet, Sirius was not doing well in confinement. Trapped in his own, unplottable safe house, Grimmauld Place. He had never done well with secrecy, getting itchier and more reckless each year they had kept their friendship a secret at Hogwarts. Now, with almost daily interactions within the Order of the Phoenix, keeping up the pretense of dislike was grating on him, compounded by the maudlin gloom of his old childhood house. Everything about his friendship with Severus had been an escape from the very place he was now trapped. 

***

_“Snivellus, Snivellus!” the crowded Gryffindors shouted at an upside down, levitated Severus. He was being held in place, squirming pitifully, by a cruelly arrogant James while Sirius frowned and sulked from the back of the group. Finally, he had seen enough._

_Sirius quietly jerked his wand in a downward motion, sending his friend sprawling to the ground before Severus jumped up and ran off, fearful of further torment at the hands of James and his friends. James searched the crowd, looking for whoever had performed the counter spell in frustration. When he saw no apparently guilty faces he laughed it off and tried joking with Sirius about how pathetic Severus had looked. He was met with a surly silence from his normally jovial friend and frowned in confusion before shrugging and making his way to their next class._

***

So here they were, alone, the Order all gone. Sirius was pacing in irritation through the despondent kitchen while Severus sought to calm him with his quiet, steady presence; so soothing in its familiarity and steadfast nature. But Sirius felt a storm raging inside him, growing stronger in its intensity. It was all too much; he hated hiding their friendship like confused adolescents, but they had been hiding for so long now it seemed impossible to do anything else. Though he didn’t quite know what he wanted from Severus, from revealing their friendship. He had realized long ago he must care for the man more than as friends, but still didn’t know how to possibly express that to his dearest companion. How could he ruin everything between them so selfishly?

Severus spoke so quietly Sirius almost didn’t hear him over his own stormy, internal musings, “Sirius.”

Sirius jerked to a standstill and plopped down in the creaking, wooden chair next to Severus. He needed something; needed to say something, anything, but couldn’t. There were no words to express his feelings, no actions; he could only think of one thing but feared Severus might think it foolish. The ex-Death Eater did despise muggle things after all, but perhaps if it was coming from Sirius he wouldn’t mind so much. He waved his wand at the battered radio sitting on the counter and a soft, acoustic song blared out, puffing dust clouds into the air at the sudden usage.

***

_Severus bit the inside of his cheek nervously as he watched Sirius engage in a rowdy brawl with one of his fellow, future Death Eaters. Sirius had seen the morose Slytherin shove Severus aside in the hallway, crashing his shoulder painfully into the wall. Severus had no real social standing or power amongst the group of budding Death Eaters yet and so was treated like filth by his own House as well as most of the other Hogwarts Houses. _

_Severus blinked away hot tears as James and the other Gryffindors egged Sirius on, needing no excuses to encourage a fight between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin. It was disgusting to Severus that Sirius’s self-claimed ‘best friend’, James, didn’t seek to stop the chaos, instead laughing at the damage being inflicted to Sirius._

_Later that night, he snuck into the Room of Requirement with a small potion in hand. He gasped and made a small noise of distress at the sight of Sirius’s battered but smiling face before ghosting his fingers gently around the bruised flesh. _

_“This will heal you faster Siri,” Severus sighed, “I wish you wouldn’t get into fights over me, you know it only hurts me more when they hurt you too,” he mumbled despondently._

_He realized his words would have no effect on the stubborn Gryffindor’s lionhearted desire to protect him from all harm, even if it was farfetched and impossible. Secretly, he would never admit that Sirius’s loyal affection made him cry sometimes when he was alone in bed; though he wasn’t entirely sure what the tears were falling for, regret or gratitude._

***

Severus sneered at the little, muggle contraption that was now blaring a soft song interspersed with static crackles before softening his gaze when it fell on the uncharacteristically quiet and still Sirius. Their eyes met briefly before both looked away in embarrassment, cheeks reddening and ears flushing with shy avoidance. Severus listened to the words, it was a love song; the singer was talking about someone saving them from a storm. His eyes trained steadily on the chipped, dirty tile beneath his feet as his heart sped up. Could Sirius be trying to communicate that he felt more for Severus than friendship? After all this time of quiet, loving companionship, were they becoming something more? 

Severus jumped when he felt Sirius’s warm hand slip into his own under the table. They had touched before, held each other, but never with any intent other than comfort and friendship. This was something new, something strange, but good. His hand tingled where Sirius’s fingers interlaced with his, sparking at the touch of something familiar but so different. The song buzzed to an end and the radio popped before falling silent. Severus squeezed Sirius’s hand ever so slightly before meeting his deep, grey eyes awkwardly. Sirius cleared his throat and pulled his hand back while Severus stood to leave. He clapped Sirius on the shoulder and let his hand linger just a little longer than it should before striding swiftly out into the night.

***

_“I don’t want to be anywhere else Sev,” the grey-eyed youth whispered into Severus’s ear before wrapping an arm around his trembling shoulders._

_Severus scooted closer into Sirius’s side, enjoying the warmth the merry fireplace in the Room of Requirement was providing, before mumbling, “Y-you sure? You don’t have other friends you wanna hang out with?”_

_“None,” Sirius quietly responded, “Only you Severus.”_

***

Sirius smiled softly at Severus’s retreating form, his heart clenched a little when he thought of the danger his friend was once again entering; but he knew the seasoned fighter would be alright. They would both be alright in the end, as long as they were together.

***

~“And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

I know everything will be alright

I know everything is alright”

-Lifehouse, “Storm”~


End file.
